SELF-LOVE???

By Kekeli Fortune

Quite often, I see people use the caption "self-love" underneath their selfies or pictures which they've posted on Instagram or Facebook; I know that I believe in the importance of self-love, but one day I realized I didn't know what it meant, and definitely didn't know how to practice it.

That's not unusual because a lot of people like me don't properly understand what this term means, therefore misinterpret and misuse it. So, what is it? why does a person need to love themselves? How can a person love themselves. How is self-love misused. Join me, and let's find out.

What is self-love?

The idea of loving yourself seems quite easy, right? I mean it shouldn't be so hard trying to ensure your happiness and satisfaction in life; however, every once in a while self-hatred rears it's ugly head and this is part of being human. When someone tells you to love yourself, it probably means you make it habit of being unkind to yourself, you are always in doubt of your capabilities, you treat yourself with disdain and allow others to treat you the same way.

You always condone habits that put your health and future at great risk.

Wikipedia defines self-love as "love of self" or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage."

What this means is you take measures that are purposed to ensure your happiness, safety, and security now and in the future.

Don't get it twisted.

According to Aristotle, there are two distinct manifestations of self-love: one manifestation is characterized by self centeredness—where a person is entirely concerned about themselves or what they can get. The other manifestation is characterized by the demonstration of love and kindness to others.

Self-love is not an excuse to be self-fish, greedy, proud, arrogant, nor to be self-absorbed. Your happiness or gratification must not be at the expense of another individual's happiness or gratification.

Self-love doesn't encourage the need to put others down just to feel important or loved.

It most certainly does't give you an excuse to live an extravagant and frivolous life that you can't really afford.

Why do you need to love yourself?

Jesus Christ was asked, "what is the greatest commandment in the law"; just to paraphrase, he answered that the greatest commandment is to first love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. He then said the second great commandment, which is as important as the first, is to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

What this means to me is self-love is the natural order of things; it is the innate way of living, and sometimes this gets in the way of us loving others and appreciating others. This is why it is a commandment to love others as you love yourself.

I believe that without loving yourself, you can't survive; you'll probably go extinct. This is why we are innately selfish as people. Without self-love, you'll cave under the pressure your jobs, family, friends and society puts on you.

I also believe that it is important to love yourself for your sake, but most importantly for the sake of others. There's a popular saying that goes " you can't pour from an empty cup." How you feel about self goes a long way to affect how you treat others. Being happy with yourself means you will be happy with others; being kind to yourself means you'll be kind to others, and treating yourself right means you'll treat others right.

How can you practice Self-love?

One might ask, why would anyone choose to hate themselves, choose to harm themselves, or to be wicked to themselves. It seems unreasonable, but it's quite easy to find someone who constantly chooses to show hatred to themselves. The reasons are probably similar to why someone might hate another: they haven't taken the time to get to know and understand the person, or the other person constantly hurts and fails them, or they are so different or so irritating.

1. Self-love begins with trying to know and understand who you are as an individual. It's very easy to hate something that you don't know or don't understand.

2. After the self-awareness, learn to accept the person who you've become. Dislike the bad and strive to correct them; because your future self needs you to.

Appreciate the good, and always remember the amazing places you have been, and the victories you have had because of who you are.

3. Forgive yourself as easily as it is to forgive those you love (we all know how easy that is). Don't keep yourself down because of the mistakes you made in the past. Move on with as much grace and dignity as you can manage.

4. Encourage yourself always. Doesn't matter if others encourage you or not. Believe in your capabilities and strengths and keep reminding yourself of them.

5. Learn to say NO to things that are not good for you. Say NO to habits that are dangerous to your health and frankly, to your wealth. I know it's difficult to do, but learn to say no to people too: people whose companionship are more draining than fulfilling. People who don't know how to stay within their boundaries.

6. Definitely say YES to the things and people that are good for you.

Say YES to the exercising and the healthy eating. Say YES to reading, to writing and volunteering.

Thanks a lot for reading. Hope you learnt something new.